Why we have to stop comparing ourselves

Living in the super busy world of 2017 we now have more choices than ever before and whilst that is an amazing thing it also becomes harder to choose. Whether it be careers, houses or something as simple as an outfit, there are so many options.

We are the generation of Instagram and we can see more into other people’s lives than ever before; what they wear, where they live or what they eat. We’re all sharing these parts of our lives, albeit the best, photo-shopped and filtered versions of them. I love looking at other peoples Instagram feeds, I mean what a great way to kill time, sometimes I just pop on to have a quick look through and realise that half the mornings gone. But in all seriousness I love taking inspiration for my wardrobe or a bit of home decor – love a bit of home decor!

The downside to having so much access to other people’s lives is that it becomes far too easy to compare to your own. Sometimes I come away from a social media scroll feeling a bit, well, shit I suppose. Do you know what I mean?

But why? Why do I feel shit? I mean obviously I’m not flawlessly tanned, drinking champagne and lounging round on a yacht in the Mediterranean but I am snuggled up on the sofa in my new, super comfy slippers drinking tea. It’s nowhere near as glamorous, sure but when there are people starving in Africa and Syrian refugees escaping war zones it’s good to have a bit perspective right?

We’ve definitely become obsessed with aspirational lifestyles (thank you Kardashians) and as a society we put too much emphasis on perfection. We have to look perfect, have the perfect relationships, jobs, house etc and its overwhelming. A few years ago I suffered with a bout of anxiety and it was the overwhelming feeling that I was failing at everything that pushed me over the edge.

There’s a lot of pressure to ‘have it all’ but I guess we need to learn that ‘having it all’ never looks like what we thought it would. For example we read little girls stories about Prince Charming, whirlwind romances and happy ever afters and then it all blows up in our pretty little faces because actually there’s no Tom Hardy riding around on a horse to rescue us. That would be pretty amazing though!

Back to the point – I started counselling and learned to focus on the good in my life and how to shift my mindset. Our expectations and our realities are different and we need to appreciate that.

What I’ve learnt over the last few years is that – it’s good to be grateful! You might not have everything you want in life but if you’re grateful for all of the little good things that make up your life, you feel happier and you attract more good things into your life.

It’s really hard to change your mindset especially when you’re feeling down or you’ve just seen on Facebook that the girl you went to school with, who bullied you now looks like a supermodel and has your dream job of working at a magazine and living it up London – what a bitch! But the point is you only see a snippet of her life, the highlights, what she wants to show to the world. She could have just found out she has genital warts but I bet she didn’t put that on Facebook!

I’ve also learned that life isn’t perfect and we’re all on our own journey and you just have to take it a day at a time. Do what makes you happy, focus on what makes you happy and be happy! When you see a cheery happy person they make you feel happy don’t they?

But comparing yourself to others will never make you happy because you are not them. You can only be you and you are pretty amazing! Focus all of your energy on what makes you happy, support your friends, uplift them in what they do. We all need to empower each other especially as women trying to make our way in the world.

It’s also important to be kind, you never know what someone might be going through. They might have just found out they have genital warts!


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